Sad day..

Today was an odd day. I woke up this morning to Matt telling me there were cops outside our apartment. I thought great, just a bonus about living here. One of the cops was blocking my car so I sought them out to move their car. Turned out they were on the same floor as us. I thought great, probably drugs or domestic(I wish for that now). I found an officer and he and another officer and they agreed to move them. I asked how they were doing this morning and looking back they looked pretty solemn, and said "tired, been a long morning". Figuring they would offer information if they had wanted to, I didn't ask. I drove to work, grumbled about living in the ghetto, picked up Cayleigh, and came home. We played in her room and blew bubbles and had a fun afternoon, and when Matt came home he said he had talked with a neighbor and found out what happened this morning. Our neighbor's 2 month old little boy died. They think it was SIDS, but aren't sure. The neighbor Matt talked to were EMT's and heard the call on a scanner and got there before the ambulance. They administered CPR but the baby had already died. There are no words to say right now for how I am feeling. I have cried a few times, thinking about how you can live after that. I just can't imagine growing this little human inside, listening to it's heartbeat, watching it on the ultrasound, feeling it move, giving birth and feeling that instant love, loving, bonding, learning for 2 months and walking in the baby's room and he be gone. I am grieving for them, and hope they can find peace in God and knowing they have an angel.

With that said, I will ALWAYS co-sleep with my babies. We co-slept with Cayleigh because I nursed her for almost 14 months, and even now, she sleeps in her crib until 2-5am and comes in with us. It may not be the most practical routine, but I won't change it for the world. She will also be sleeping all night with us tonight.


WASHINGTON COUNTY, MD - A baby was found dead in its crib in Hagerstown Tuesday, but investigators do not suspect foul play.

Police responded to a call around 5:30 a.m. for a baby who was not breathing. The two month old died.

Police say they always characterize infant deaths as suspicious, but there's no evidence to suggest it was anything but an accident.

They're waiting for an autopsy to make their final determination.


On a little happier note, here are a few pics of Cayleigh....




Looking at the rain with daddy...